The Lost Art of Showing Up

Bad habits form quickly. Too much phone time tends to make me anxious and distracted, not really being present with the people around me. Knowing that alone helps me be more intentional with what I’m feeling and communicating when I do use my phone around others.

The Hidden Cost of Being Half-There

📱 Conversations Are Lost  – 89% of Americans admit using phones during recent social interactions, and 82% noticed conversations suffered. (Greater Good Science Center)

💔 Relationships Become Disconnected – People notice when you're distracted, leading to emotional distance over time. (Marriage.com)

🧠 The Loneliness Loop – Excessive screen time deepens loneliness and weakens your sense of connection, pushing you toward even more distractions. (PsyPost)

So how do we fix this?

Living In the Moment

We don’t have to throw our devices away (at least, not yet). Being present simply means paying attention to life as it unfolds—without the constant urge to juggle everything at once. It can be as simple as admiring your surroundings or acknowledging a service worker.

It isn’t easy. When boredom hits, it’s tempting to reach for a distraction and justify it as “productive”—whether that’s watching an educational video or catching up on messages.

Of course, technology can be incredibly useful. Sometimes working on the go makes sense. But ultimately, it’s up to you to guard your time, because the battle for our attention is real.

Tips for Showing Up

If you've committed to being fully there, let’s take some practical steps to making that happen:

1. Listen like you mean it. Don’t just wait for your turn—listen to what they are saying or not saying.

2. Make eye contact. Even if you can listen without looking, eye contact builds connection and trust.

3. Let silence breathe. Not every gap in the conversation needs filling.

4. Notice your surroundings. How can you thrive in this environment?

5. Catch yourself on autopilot. Do you need to think about work right now?

6. Have deeper conversations. Try asking something other than ‘How are you?’

Don’t Fake It

If you don’t want to be with the person, group, or activity, you don’t have to commit (except for obligations you must honor such as your job). Nothing kills presence faster than wishing you were somewhere else. If you agree to show up, show up. If you don’t want to, don’t. Saying no makes your yes worth something.

Presence Is a Form of Love

When Jesus interacted with people, He gave His full attention—stopping for the quiet woman who was healed (Luke 8:43–48), talking with the outcast (Luke 19:1–10), and asking deeper questions (Mark 10:46–52, John 5:6).

That kind of presence is rare and radical.

When you’re fully present, you’re saying:

• “You matter.”

• “I see you.”

• “I’m here with you.”

How can you show up for someone this week? Why does it matter?

— Amenda